Thursday, August 17, 2006

No Hunny, You Look Great

"Am I fat?" Don't even start with me. I thought that dreadful lose-lose question was a part of history! "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" - "No hunny, your butt makes those pants look big". Why do women still insist on puting men in this ridiculus situation? And it isn't as though we can just say "I refuse to answer", because then you came up with "Geez, you don't even care about how i feel". Wow.

Look ladies, guys arent the only ones with eyes. You know just as well as us if something makes your butt look fat. This is me, making a request for all guys out there - DON'T ASK US THAT! Instead, try something like "aw, I'm fat", so that we can come back and tell you that you are not. This way, everyone wins. Your happy, we're happy, and the divorce rate drops 10 fold.

Moving right along. Ladies, if you are overweight, do something! don't complain, just get rid of the excess. There are tons and tons of ways to lose weight, so pick one! This is one more of those win-win situations. After you lose some weight, your happy, we're happy, and Jenny Craig is wealthy.

So lets review... No asking us if your fat.... No complaining if you ARE overweight (And if you are, chose from one of the million ways to lose weight)..... And have a happy relashionship! Look, most guys just want to have fun. We clearly don't like fighting, and girls shouldnt either, so lets get along, ad remember everything you read here today!

The Drinkaholic Single Woman

This week I want to warn you guys about a certain type of single woman you may meet in bars and nightclubs. I call them, "Drinkaholic Women."

This is a single woman who uses men to support a drinking habit. She may even come right out and ask you, "Would you buy me a drink?" upon meeting you. Most guys won't say no, especially if she is attractive. After she finishes her drink she will say, "Can I have another drink?" One drink leads to another and before you know it, you have dished out a lot of money on buying her drinks.

This all can sure be to your advantage or disadvantage. On the positive side, she may go home with you in exchange for buying her drinks. She may even get so drunk it may be necessary to take her home and put her to bed. Of course, on the negative side, she may just use you to buy her drinks and then blow you off and leave the nightclub or even move on to the next fool who will buy her drinks.

In conclusion guys, use your better judgement before you start dishing out a lot of money on buying a woman drinks. You could be taken for a ride. Fortunately, you won't run into the "Drinkaholic Woman" very often.